Posted by: danzaland | April 17, 2012

Husband and Wife

I was in a McDonald’s today and an older couple walked up to the counter. The Old man did all the talking. He made jokes to the order taker girl, and chit chatted with another woman in line. When he ordered, he ordered for both of them, and even made jokes about no whip cream on the wife’s hot cocoa, she might get it on her face blah blah blah… The one woman he chatted to before said something to him and he said “38 years last Friday”, and I am assuming he was referring to the number of years married.
The whole time I could see them the wife did not say a word. Not one.

So it got me thinking about their dynamic and how they were raised and how they have lasted for 38 years. Again I am assuming here that they have the traditional husband-wife roles and values that he is the dominate one and she stays demure and reserved without opinion, especially in public! It seems to me that she and many other women in that early and pre boomer generation were groomed to fill that role of wife and mother and no opinion. That’s how they have stayed married for 38 years.

I found myself thinking about the possible correlation between the divorce rate and the history of women’s liberation. Has the growing independence of women and thus their growing voice been a part of why the divorce rate soared? I am not blaming women, or even men for that matter, but instead thinking that the boomers got caught up in a paradigm shift and that has given both parties in a marriage equal voices, where both had a change of heart and dissolved the marriage. Old world values of their parents meet modern world reality for them?

Would that couple still be married if both had equal voice?
Who would not have what they bargained for?
Is that wife okay with the role she is playing, which there is nothing wrong with if that is what she wants?

All conjecture on my part but has anybody seriously studied this angle?

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